Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
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