tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
