yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
