We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
