trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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