I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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