he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
