he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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