Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
