Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
