I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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