duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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