do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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