living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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