What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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