Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
