So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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