He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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