Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Do vagina's smell?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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