Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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