The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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