I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
