He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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