Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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