he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
