Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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