All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Did you pee in the oven last night??
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
