I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
