I wish I could teleport
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
