We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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