Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
