New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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