At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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