Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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