Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
