Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It was confusing and full of hummus
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
