At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
