If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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