Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
