I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
