I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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