we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
