My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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