): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
