At least make sure they are 18
Why
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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