I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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