Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
