evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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