Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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