Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
