haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
